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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Guilty Pleasures #4

Guilty Pleasures is a weekly meme hosted by CJ Duggan and I LOVE her for it. I now look forward to Wednesdays each week. You need to go check her out NOW!!

And now, for my post this week...better late n the day then never :)

We see them all the time, and we hate them. THOSE women. You know the ones...they come on commercials with their long, tanned legs and their killer abs that we dream about. Prancing around the screen promoting the latest exercise fad in their itty bitty sports bras without breaking a sweat or getting their hair out of place. I despise these women. Every time I see one of those Ab Roller or BowFlex commercials, I feel like throwing my popcorn at them and telling them to get a life and leave me to my shows in peace. Then the thinking starts....I could totally look like them. I can exercise. All I gotta do is put the junk food down and get off the couch....tomorrow, yeah...I can look like them tomorrow, Grey's is on. I will exercise after Meredith has another life changing moment. Right.

The only thing about these infomercial spots, is that they hit home. All of a sudden, I am a fitness fiend. So I go out and buy the active wear and the latest Jillian Michaels DVD (seriously, the Biggest Loser is awesome..love her) and get myself ready to get my high school abs back. Yay me!!

Ok, let's stop here. Bet you're all thinking that this week's Guilty Pleasure is working out. Ha, ha....made you think I'm a fit, healthy, happy person. I am actually completely addicted to buying as much exercise programs, books, supplements, and memberships as humanly possible. I do all the research, I have a gym membership, I buy all the latest in fitness health products that I can get my hands on. I absolutely LOVE learning all I can about health, fitness, and the perfect workout designed specifically to give me Buns of Steel and washboard abs. Hubby actually cringes when I come home with bagd from SportChek or Herbal Magic. It all sounds great, doesn't it? Here's the thing though...I never USE any of this stuff.

My Guilty Pleasure is...making it look like I actually work out.

Yeah, I know. This sounds really bad, and it is. I have filled my house with Yoga mats, pedometers, resistance bands, weights, DVD's, books....and the list goes on...and on...and on some more. I can't help it. I can not walk past the local GNC without checking out the newest nutritional supplements. Neither can I resist going online and spending hours coming up with the perfect routine that will keep my waistline trim and my muscles tight. Fitness books and magazines? Oh, I have them all. Never read them...but having them counts, right? I am totally addicted to all of it, and I love every second of it. Don't even get me started on altheltic wear. I can actually feel hubby's veins throbbing when he sees me walk in the door with a SportChek bag. I can't stop!! I think I need FEAA (Fake Exercise Addicts Anonymous) and I need it bad, but it just feels sooo good.

So why do I spend all this time and money to make it look like I actually have somewhat of a fit lifestyle? I think a large part of it is that I love the IDEA of exercising and being fit and that with each thing I buy...I am truly getting myself closer to my 18 year old ass. You know the old saying..."If you buy it, it will shrink"?  Words I live by.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not an unhealthy person. I am incredibly happy with my weight and my body and feel no need to change it...then again, gravity works in mysterious ways and those infomercial bitches do not help the fact that my boobs have dropped several inches since I had my kids. It's a fact of life. Can't help it. Buying the products just makes me feel like I am contributing to my health in some way.

So there you have it. The one thing hubby and I can never agree on. Still trying to convince him to let me buy an Elliptical (keep telling him that if it's in front of the tv, I WILL use it...I mean, look at her...she looks decently happy with hers)...he still won't budge on that one. At least not until I actually use at least one of the hundreds of dollars worth of "useless crap" I already have collecting dust around the house. One day it will be mine...and if i don't use it more than once...at least people will think I do.


  1. Wow!! Thats too funny in a way....I think we all have certain addictions to different things...but as long as your happy with you life is all that matters..right??? Hope all is well with you!!!

  2. HILARIOUS!!! "Those infomercial bitches" hahahaha... Why is it I get you?? I do the same thing! I knew someone had to put a stop to the madness when I found myself interested in the Zumba add! I had to mentaly slap myself and realise "I am never going to look like a bronzed wash board add Brazilian" I did the Jane Fonda work out video (from the 80's)broke out in a sweat, hunched over out of breath was totally proud of myself and then she say's "O.k that was the warm up lets get started" WHAAAAAAT?? I was dying!
    I also have a tendancy to buy cook books, I get sucked into the yummy glossy pages with beautiful food. Do I cook anything from them? Never? Do I have a stack of them? You bet ya!
    But we have to have them! Strange! What would become of us if our husbands didn't save us from ourselves? I would hate to think!

  3. I loved your guilty pleasure this week.. haha still laughing.. not only are you addicted to buying things from TV, but want to show you work out.. so funny. I have to say I have a guilty pleasure of buying way too many lock'n'lock containers from infomercials... ahhh I have to avoid seeing them or I buy more. Great post.

  4. @Lover: Exactly. I am happy with pretending...so it works for me. All that matters :)
    @CJ: I know!! Glad that you get me...someone has to, lol. Don't get me started on cookbooks, cause yeah...I totally have a space in my kitchen dedicated just to all my shiny (mostly still in the original packages) and pretty cookbooks. They make my kitchen look like I can do anything. I don't even want to know what would happen to me if hubby wasn't around to keep me from becoming an episode of Hoarders. I mean, I'm not that bad...but I love stuff!! Stuff makes me look like I do things that I don't...like exercise, and garden for instance (yes...I have a collection of gardening tools and books too. I couldn't keep a plant alive with super powers). :)
    @Tfwalsh: I'm not allowed to watch informercials anymore. I was one Slap-Cop away from being banned from the tv..and my credit card...forever, lol