Guilty Pleasures #4

Guilty Pleasures is a weekly meme hosted by CJ Duggan and I LOVE her for it. I now look forward to Wednesdays each week. You need to go check her out NOW!!

And now, for my post this week...better late n the day then never :)

We see them all the time, and we hate them. THOSE women. You know the ones...they come on commercials with their long, tanned legs and their killer abs that we dream about. Prancing around the screen promoting the latest exercise fad in their itty bitty sports bras without breaking a sweat or getting their hair out of place. I despise these women. Every time I see one of those Ab Roller or BowFlex commercials, I feel like throwing my popcorn at them and telling them to get a life and leave me to my shows in peace. Then the thinking starts....I could totally look like them. I can exercise. All I gotta do is put the junk food down and get off the couch....tomorrow, yeah...I can look like them tomorrow, Grey's is on. I will exercise after Meredith has another life changing moment. Right.

The only thing about these infomercial spots, is that they hit home. All of a sudden, I am a fitness fiend. So I go out and buy the active wear and the latest Jillian Michaels DVD (seriously, the Biggest Loser is awesome..love her) and get myself ready to get my high school abs back. Yay me!!

Ok, let's stop here. Bet you're all thinking that this week's Guilty Pleasure is working out. Ha, ha....made you think I'm a fit, healthy, happy person. I am actually completely addicted to buying as much exercise programs, books, supplements, and memberships as humanly possible. I do all the research, I have a gym membership, I buy all the latest in fitness health products that I can get my hands on. I absolutely LOVE learning all I can about health, fitness, and the perfect workout designed specifically to give me Buns of Steel and washboard abs. Hubby actually cringes when I come home with bagd from SportChek or Herbal Magic. It all sounds great, doesn't it? Here's the thing though...I never USE any of this stuff.

My Guilty Pleasure is...making it look like I actually work out.

Yeah, I know. This sounds really bad, and it is. I have filled my house with Yoga mats, pedometers, resistance bands, weights, DVD's, books....and the list goes on...and on...and on some more. I can't help it. I can not walk past the local GNC without checking out the newest nutritional supplements. Neither can I resist going online and spending hours coming up with the perfect routine that will keep my waistline trim and my muscles tight. Fitness books and magazines? Oh, I have them all. Never read them...but having them counts, right? I am totally addicted to all of it, and I love every second of it. Don't even get me started on altheltic wear. I can actually feel hubby's veins throbbing when he sees me walk in the door with a SportChek bag. I can't stop!! I think I need FEAA (Fake Exercise Addicts Anonymous) and I need it bad, but it just feels sooo good.

So why do I spend all this time and money to make it look like I actually have somewhat of a fit lifestyle? I think a large part of it is that I love the IDEA of exercising and being fit and that with each thing I buy...I am truly getting myself closer to my 18 year old ass. You know the old saying..."If you buy it, it will shrink"?  Words I live by.


Now don't get me wrong, I am not an unhealthy person. I am incredibly happy with my weight and my body and feel no need to change it...then again, gravity works in mysterious ways and those infomercial bitches do not help the fact that my boobs have dropped several inches since I had my kids. It's a fact of life. Can't help it. Buying the products just makes me feel like I am contributing to my health in some way.

So there you have it. The one thing hubby and I can never agree on. Still trying to convince him to let me buy an Elliptical (keep telling him that if it's in front of the tv, I WILL use it...I mean, look at her...she looks decently happy with hers)...he still won't budge on that one. At least not until I actually use at least one of the hundreds of dollars worth of "useless crap" I already have collecting dust around the house. One day it will be mine...and if i don't use it more than once...at least people will think I do.

Guilty Pleasures #3

Guilty Pleasures is one of my most favorite weekly memes ever, hosted by CJ Duggan. I look forward to this every single week, so let's get at it!!!

This week I will let you all in on something that drives my hubby nuts and irritates my kids to no end. I love to bake. Don't ask me why, but I really enjoy it. Cookies, pies, muffins, cakes...the whole nine. The issue with that...over half the mix never sees the oven. I am the worst for eating batter and dough!! Some people don't get it, but it is soooo good. What is better than some perfectly made chocolate chip cookies? The uncooked dough that is needed to make it, that's what!! My poor children. I am constantly telling them we can make cookies (which I don't even like, by the way). We get all the ingredients together and then it's time to drop them on the pan and put 'em in the oven. I always prepare enough for at least 2 dozen...but in the 10 minutes it takes for the cookies to cook, the dough starts looking pretty tempting...and I have to explain to my kids why their 24 cookies magically turned into 12. Ooops. I made them bigger this time kids, I swear.

If it was only cookie dough, I wouldn't say that it's strange, but this is me...and let's face it, I can't really half ass anything, so bring on the cake batter and muffin mix! When you were a kid, and your mother was baking a cake, do you remember asking her if you could lick the beaters? I always asked, but since apparently eating raw batter isn't good for you (blah, blah,blah...yada, yada, yada)...I wasn't allowed (sad face). What a buzz-kill. So now as an adult...to hell with the beaters...give me a spoon and let me have at it!!

Muffin mix is a little weird, I can't deny that...and have you ever eated pie dough? There really isn't anything really good about it, but I just can't help it. It's a sickness...I shouldn't be allowed to bake. The worst part of all of this is...I HATE baked goods. Even as a kid, I wouldn't eat cake. I don't care for cookies, and muffins are just icky. Something has to be seriously wrong with me, but that's me! I can't just be "normal".

Does the madness stop there? Yeah, right...have you completely forgotten whose blog you're reading? One of my biggest downfalls (and I actually haven't been caught doing this just yet...) is peanut butter. Not on bread or rolls...that would be too normal...I'm talking right out of the jar (I'm the only person in my house that eats the stuff, so in my mind that makes it ok). Give me a jar of smooth...not crunchy, that stuff is gross...and a spoon and I am all set! This also works with icing. I mean, hey, if I'm going to go nuts on the cake batter I might as well take some icing out of the jar to go with it, right? I remember being a teenager (yes, this started that early) and having a bad break up or fight with my parents...most girls would head for the freezer to grab a pint of Rocky Road...not me. A little tub of vanilla cream cheese icing was more than enough to drown my sorrows in. It just kinda stuck. Of course I can't sit with the WHOLE tub of it...way too much sugar, but several heaping spoonfuls is just the perfect amount!!

So there you have it. My deep, dark, kinda sad but incredibly yummy secret. Just one of my many quirks I guess. Thinking on it now, I'm shocked I don't weigh a ton...oh well...hmmmm think I might go make the kiddies some cookies :D